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Arsenal Pies

Pie-eyed: Is Avram Grant Danger Mouse's arch nemesis?

Chelsea’s manager: popular, enigmatic, amusing, entertaining with his sound bites and a candidate for any hair gel commercial.

That was then with Jose Moaninho, but this is now and the new Chelsea boss Avram Grant is most definitely the chalk to Jose’s cheese. Actually, he so chalky, he’s like the entire white cliffs of Dover.

But has anyone else noticed his resemblance to one Baron Silas Greenback, the evil villain with plans to take over the cartoon world of Danger Mouse? Uncanny, isn’t it?!

Not much is known about Avram. Apparently he was known as The Man from the BBC by the players at Portsmouth, because the squad saw him as the bloke who carried around the equipment at the training ground, rather than the technical expert he purports to be.

And if I was a Chelsea fan, I’d be very worried indeed. Grant has been given the manager’s job purely because he is a friend of club owner Roman Abramovich.

Up until now I’ve been fairly impressed by the Russian’s hands-off approach, but he's showing signs of having a billionaire’s mid-life crisis and now fancies himself as the head coach. It wouldn’t be the first time a megalomaniac club owner has interfered in such a way - a point to bear in mind given the attention of Abramovich buddy Alisher Usmanov and his aspirations to own Arsenal.

Got a better lookalike for Avram Grant? Or perhaps there’s you’ve noted another player or manager who is a dead ringer of someone else? Then let us know using the comments section below

Posted by Gordon Masson on September 24, 2007 5:51 PM in Look-alikes
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Pie-eyed: Has Sevilla's Juande Ramos had his Chips?


This is going to show my age, but has anyone else noticed the startling resemblance between Sevilla boss Juande Ramos and a certain member of the Californian Highway Patrol?

That’s right, Ramos is a dead ringer for Frank Poncherello from the 1970s TV series CHiPs, which followed the everyday lives of two motorcycle cops fighting crime on the mean streets and freeways of Los Angeles.

Ponch was played by actor Erik Estrada, whom it is understood has also turned down Tottenham Hopeless chairman Daniel Levy for the manager’s job at Light Weight Lane. But at least we can now figure out Levy’s train of thought - who better to lead the Spuds than someone who has a proven track record with Chips?!

Let's just hope that the acting abilities of Sevilla are confined to their manager tonight and that the Emirates Stadium doesn't become a stage for the players to show off their oscar-winning performances to the referee. Not that I'd ever acuse Spanish teams of diving, of course...

Posted by Gordon Masson on September 19, 2007 12:08 PM in Look-alikes
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Pie-eyed: Spurs' lack of animation may lead to Martin Jol movie role

Time could be running out for Martin Jol at Light Weight Lane - and our campaign to Save The Whale is not winning much support - but I think I’ve found a new job for him.

Every Hollywood actor needs a stunt double and I reckon you don’t get many bigger stars than Shrek. Enter the Dutchman.

Just think of the benefits - Jol is the same body shape as Shrek; he already lives in an absurd cartoon-like world, populated by ugly inhabitants and mythical beasts (such as regular goal scorers); he has several years experience in working with donkies; and in chairman Daniel Levy, he’s used to dealing with an evil overlord.

And given how envious he is of Arsene Wenger, Jol wouldn’t even need the green make-up.

So go on Martin, the sunny California climate would be a healthy change to the gloomy surroundings of Tottenham. And you can feel free to doctor your CV as much as you want, because nobody in America has heard of you or Tottenham Hopeless.

Posted by Gordon Masson on September 18, 2007 10:00 AM in Look-alikes
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Pie-eyed: Kuyt’s totally excellent doppleganger

Alex%20Winter.JPGMy appreciation goes out to Pie-eyed lookalike queen Mimi for pointing out the incredible resemblance between Liverpool’s Dutch striker Dirk Kuyt and Bill S. Preston esquire, of Bill and Ted movie fame.

Bill was played by London-born actor Alex Winter, starring alongside a young Keanu Reeves in both 1989’s Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and the sequel two years later, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.

Although Winter and Kuyt have never been seen in the same room together, at 27-years-old the Liverpool forward has an excellent excuse for distancing himself from accusations of moonlighting among the Hollywood film set.

However, given some of the bogus diving that Kuyt has seen perpetrated against his team - notably by Chelsea earlier this season - the Dutchman, who was once linked with a move to Arsenal, could quickly become an expert on Oscar winning performances.

Can you do better than Mimi? Have you spotted a candidate for our Pie-eyed features? Or maybe one of your Gooner mates looks like a player or a celebrity? Then let us know using our comments section below or by emailing your photos to us at [email protected]

Posted by Gordon Masson on September 6, 2007 2:45 PM in Look-alikes| Players
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Pie-eyed: Levy has a cunning plan

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed an uncanny likeness between Tottenham Hopeless chairman Daniel Levy and Blackadder actor Tony Robinson.

As Baldrick in the BBC comedy, Robinson would always come up with a hapless "Cunning Plan" and it would seem that Lightweight Lane supremo Levy is a true example of life imitating art with his efforts to oust current Spuds manager Martin Jol in the club's push to finish in the top four.

And that, it would seem, is the limit of Tottenham's ambition. While us Gunners look for the spark that will see us challenging for the Premier League title, the dream of the hierarchy at the little club that occupy the wrong end of Seven Sisters Road is simply to qualify for the Champions League. You have to pity them really.

At the moment, Tottenham lie fourth from bottom, at the polar opposite of where they want to be in the Premier League. So let's all hope that Levy's cunning plan keeps working, because by the end of next season, who knows, his club may be top four after all, challenging for the title in the Championship.

Spotted another Pie-eyed lookalike to rival Tottenham's Baldrick? Then share it with us here and we'll endeavour to share it with your fellow Arsenal Pies regulars

Posted by Gordon Masson on August 27, 2007 3:30 PM in Look-alikes
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Pie-eyed: Sagna spotted working down Walford market

It's time for another tenuous look-a-likey and you're going to have to indulge us a little on this one. OK, take the braids out of the equation, may be wear some shades and squint a little and we reckon Arsenal's new 'well'ard' right back Bacary Sagna is the dead spit of market caretaker Gus Smith (played by Mohammed George) from BBC soap Eastenders. Sagna has been seen 'sweeping up' at the back (arf!) since signing for the Gunners so he could deasily work Gus' job should he fall out of favour at the Emirates. Oh, hold on am I getting confused between reality and fiction again? Although Gus Smith, sorry Mohammed George, has been spotted at a few Arsenal games so at least we're keeping the look-a-likes within the Gooner family.

Come on if you think you can do better than us, start suggesting some dodgy doppelgangers. All submission, no matter how ropy, will be gratefully received.

Bacary Sagna picture: Getty Images

Posted by Nick Renshaw on August 24, 2007 7:00 PM in Look-alikes
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