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Liverpool Pies

Martin Jol campaign: Save the Whale!

If you believe the newspapers today, Martin Jol has been given one month to turn around Tottenham’s season or he’s going to be set free, with the terrifying prospect of the Japanese harpooning him for “scientific research”.

But we at Arsenal Pies are in a benevolent mood, so we’re starting our very own campaign to keep the amiable Dutchman at Light Weight Lane, as he’s one of our favourite Spuds in recent memory. Darren Bent comes close though, thanks to his left peg strike which narrowly missed the six yard box on Saturday.

Now we know that Jol forked out more than £16 million for Bent, but we’re all in favour of that and rumour has it that Arsenal were also trying to sell the Spuds Aliadiere for £25 million, but unfortunately big Martin was on holiday that day, raiding some plankton-rich waters. Hang on, maybe that’s where he found Bent.

Anyway, as a true football fan and a diehard Gooner, I think it’s my duty, nay vocation, to try to make sure that the Tottenham Hopeless board not only retains the services of its manager, but gives him a lifelong contract.

And if you are reading this, Daniel Levy, there are legitimate reasons why you should give your manager more time. Much much more time in fact...

If you don’t stick with Orca, it’ll be four managers your board has appointed who have failed to beat Arsenal and that would just look rubbish in the history books.

Also, Martin is one of the most respected managers in, um, N17. He’s a very big fish - in a mammal type way - in what happens to be quite a small bowl. A small bowl with horrific transport connections, inhabited on a fortnightly basis by mute guppies.

Most importantly though, Martin gives all of us Gooners, not to mention the rest of the Premier League, something to laugh about. And that is hugely important. You’re keeping millions of fans very happy indeed, Mr Levy, so I would plead with you to have patience. Rome was not built in a day. In fact I saw building sites in the Eternal City last time Arsenal were there on Champions League duty, so I plead with you to consider that lifelong contract for Martin - perhaps he could even pass it down to future generations of the Jol family?!

Arsenal are now at the top of the league and we need to pick up every point possible to ensure that the Premier league title returns to North London. As a resident of that particular part of the world, Mr Levy, surely you can see that staying loyal to Martin Jol would help the neighbourhood cause by guaranteeing the Gunners a further three points on 22nd December. Where's your sense of civic duty, Mr Levy?

And if Tottenham are still in relegation trouble by Christmas, don’t be miserly, open the purse strings and let your manager break the club’s transfer record a few more times. I hear that Mark Viduka is unsettled, while Craig Bellamy will probably have upset his manager and team mates by then. And he loves Wales...

Want to join Arsenal Pies campaign to Save the Whale? Then simply leave your name and any supportive thoughts about Martin Jol on our comments page and we’ll present them as a petition to our friends at Spurs Pies

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Posted by Gordon Masson on September 17, 2007 1:06 PM in
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