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Bye bye Mourinho: top five Chelsea jokes

So the Special One has decided that he can no longer work for a man who also occasionally steals a headline or two. It was either that or Roman Abramovich was going to have to build a bigger stadium to cater for Moaninho’s ever inflating ego. But let’s face it, even the universe isn't expanding fast enough to cope with that one.

Anyway, in an effort to keep you amused on a Friday afternoon as you watch the clock tick away, we’ve tried to compile a few Special One jokes that you can amuse your Chavski friends with this weekend.

No doubt by now most of you have heard about the new Chelsea aftershave called “Special One” by U Go Boss. Well here are a few others to goad the diminishing support at Stamford Bridge...

1. Jose Mourinho has been offered Martin Jol's job at Light Weight Lane, but turned it down claiming "I'm not that fucking special"

2. Royal Mail have just recalled their latest selection of stamps, featuring pictures of Jose Mourinho on them. Apparently people were confused which side to spit on.

3. What is the difference between Jose Mourinho and God ?
God doesn't think he's Jose Mourinho.

4. A man and his son were at the breakfast table when the father spots something in the paper.
"Van Gough sold for £8 million", he says shaking his head.
"Is he worth it dad?"
Impressed that his boy is taking an interest in fine art, the father says, "I suppose so son. Why do you ask?"
"Well it's just that Mourinho paid more than that for Andrei Shevchenko - and he's shit".

5. What would you get if Chelsea were relegated ?
40,000 more Man United fans.

Have you heard any better Chelsea jokes? Then share them here with your fellow Arsenal Pies regulars, using our comments section below

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Posted by Gordon Masson on September 21, 2007 4:45 PM in
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There's been a big explosion at Fulham Broadway station - apparently Chelsea's bubble has burst.

Posted by: Tim | September 21, 2007 5:23 PM

Chelsea have released a new Aftershave!

It's called: U Go Boss

Posted by: Ell | September 22, 2007 8:57 PM

With worldwide media coverage it's not surprising Jose has exclaimed that he would "like to go to Portugal and dissapear".
It's understood that the McCann's have offered their advice.

Posted by: davidho | September 27, 2007 7:28 PM

Heard about the Chelsea fan who nailed his season ticket to a tree? He went back the next day and the nail was gone!

Posted by: Frankie | September 30, 2007 6:31 PM

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